Pain and violence were not anything new to Nicky. He grew up with it in Puerto Rico, where his parents brutally abused him. Nicky’s father used to throw him in a room with pigeons. Nicky says, “He put me there naked, and I used to scream and the pigeons would get scared, and scratch me all over.” And Nicky’s mother? “She hit me so much and knocked me out unconscious so many times over and over that, if I grab a knife and I put it on my skin, I didn’t feel the pain anymore.”
Nicky’s parents were not just cruel and abusive, they were possessed “I know that I was planted into the womb of a witch” says Nicky. Séances, satanic worship, animal sacrifices were all a normal part of Nicky’s parent’s lives. Nicky says of her mother, “many times, she was possessed by the devil. She would eat everything when she was under the influence of satan and so did my dad. All those animals’ sacrifice, all the blood that was shared, the smell that was so repulsive and the spirit that used to manifest, was really scary.” Not surprisingly, when Nicky hit the streets of New York, he was a hardened man, void of love and full of hate. All he wanted was to “do to others what my mother did to me. I wanted to know how it felt to give hurt. You can get high on alcohol, sex and all kinds of drugs, I was high in hate and violence and I used to feel good when I hurt people.” But alone in his tiny apartment in the projects, he didn’t feel good. “When I was alone, loneliness became like a seductive woman that crawled inside of my chest and ate me. I would be there twisting and fighting and I felt so lost. The most that you can live in the way I used to live is 20 years. I was 19 already. One year, I’ll be dead.”
Nicky was alone because every other person was afraid of him but for two people, a psychologist and a pastor. The psychologist told Nicky about five times that there was a dark side in his life that nobody can penetrate. “Nicky, you are walking straight to jail, the electric chair, and hell, there’s no hope for you.” The other was a pastor named David Wilkerson who risked his life to tell Nicky that there was hope because God has the power to change his life. Nicky cursed him loud, spit in his face, hit him and threatened to kill him. He was shocked at the pastor’s response, “You could cut me up into a thousand pieces and lay them in the street, every piece will still love you.” That statement haunted Nick,”in my brain and in my heart I began to question, and for two weeks I could not sleep thinking about love.”
Nicky and his gang showed up at one of Wilkerson’s rallies and one by one, they gave their lives to Christ. It was the crucifixion, Jesus’ death on the cross, that grabbed Nicky. He had never heard of it and felt so strongly for the man who Wilkerson said “died on that cross”, a man like him who had the same fears and the same feelings. The little boy in Nicky, “began to think about where I was hurt. I was choked up with pain, my eyes were fighting and tears began to come down and then I surrendered.” “I let Jesus hug me, and I let my head rest on His chest. I said, “Okay. I’m sorry. Forgive me.” For the first time, I told somebody “I love you.” I told Him, “I love you, Jesus.” “When I opened my eyes, I got a new heart. I had been born again. I’m now a child of the Lord.”
The love Nicky got in return radically changed his life. Nicky left the gang scene, enrolled in a Bible College and met Gloria. The two married and moved back to New York City where they run “Teen Challenge,” a program to help troubled teens. Since then, Nicky has raised four girls and traveled all over the world as an evangelist and head of Nicky Cruz Ministries. Nicky believes he is the happiest person on earth not only because he has been able to reach millions of people across the world, but because of what he believes to be the greatest success of his life; bringing his mother, father and brother to Jesus Christ.
Nicky chose to forgive his parents, and he asked them to forgive him as well. Nicky writes about this in his latest book, “Soul Obsession.” He writes that “when true forgiveness comes into your soul, the dark cloud will disappear and you can have access straight to the heart of Christ.” Once, an animal filled with hate, today, he is a lover of souls. Now, if you meet Nicky Cruz on the streets, you probably would not run from him. You would run to him, and here is what he might say, “You can turn all of the deep pain, the hurt, and the deep rejection in your heart over to Christ, just like I did. Give it all over to Him and you are going to be happier with your life.”
