When I was eight years old, I was separated from my mother- she was a teacher.  Situations at home couldn’t give her enough resources to take care of five kids.  So the best choice at that time for her was to travel outside the country and earn more income to take care of us.  So we had to go and live with my grandmother.

One day without notice, Gifty’s father took her and her brother to live with their aunt.

HONORABLE KLENAM: My father said to us that we would live with her and we would go to school.

But instead of going to school, for the next three years Gifty worked at her aunt’s food stand.

HONORABLE KLENAM: I felt very hopeless at a certain point, because my auntie never said anything positive about me.  She would tell me in her language “yah-cama.”  “Yah-cama” means a useless person.  And as useless as she used to call me, I never had hope.

One day, her Aunt’s fiancé intervened.

HONORABLE KLENAM: The fiancé said that, “Why won’t you take this girl to school?  What has she done to you?”  Then they fought, in fact it was a hot argument that day.  So finally the fiancé decided to take me to school.

Gifty was 14 and a half years old when she enrolled in school and could barely speak English. She was way behind her peers.  However, she was determined to get an education.

HONORABLE KLENAM: When it was getting to the tail end of the academic year, my elder brother visited me.  He had never visited me ever since we were taken there.  So I give him an order, I said, “Brother, go back and get me registered so that I can come and write my common entrance.”  Then he was like, “Uh, you have just been in school.  How can you write your common entrance?”
I said, “No problem, you have no idea what I am going through here.”

Gifty took the Common Entrance Exam and got the second highest score.  She received a scholarship to secondary school.  However, her heartache would continued.

HONORABLE KLENAM: They had given us a medium holiday, and almost everybody in the school was leaving.  I didn’t know who to go to.  And I went to my Dad’s house one day.  I was open to the porch, so I sat on the porch, I sat on the porch for a long time.  Then later in the evening, my stepmother came and she gave me food and she just threw the food at me in a bowl, used her leg, hit it so that it could get closer to me.  I took the food, and I was so hungry, so I ate it.  Around 9 p.m. my father came and he was like, “Why are you here?  Who have asked you to come?”  He threw me out of the house.

Gifty stayed with a friend of her father’s.  The friend confronted him about mistreating her, but Gifty’s father denied that she was his daughter.

HONORABLE KLENAM: I felt very, very sad.  Very, very, very sad.  I didn’t understand.

Gifty joined a Christian organization at school and began reading the Bible.  Eventually she gave her life to Jesus Christ.

HONORABLE KLENAM: I was so love – so much in love with God and that was how my life started turning around.

Gifty pursued a career in agriculture.  The government promised to assist young farmers, but when she sought help, no one was available.  So she decided to run for Parliament.

HONORABLE KLENAM: I ran the election, the primaries in my constituency in 2004 and I lost miserably.  It never deterred me at all, because I know where I wanted to get to.  So I started getting closer to the people, making my vision clearer to them.

In 2008, Gifty became the first woman in her district to be elected to the parliament. She is on the forefront of women’s rights, maternal health, and developing industry in her district.

HONORABLE KLENAM: I strongly believe that if women are rightly positioned, we will be able to do a lot to transform this nation.

PASTOR EASTWOOD: I didn’t know whether the world had stopped.  I didn’t know that this thing could be true.

Pastor Eastwood broke the tragic news to his wife.

ROSEMOND: The only words that I found coming out of my mouth was, “We are in His hands.”  That was all I could say, because it was too much.

PASTOR EASTWOOD: I was broken.  I had believed God in so many ways.  So I’m like, what am I to believe again.  So I’m on my knees and I’m saying, “God, I need you to speak.  I need you to touch my heart.”

Despite his pain, Pastor Eastwood continued to seek God for answers.

PASTOR EASTWOOD: Are we going to believe God for them to be raised?  That was before the funeral.  And the Lord told me, He said, “No.  What I’ll give you is consolation and comfort.”  From that point of discouragement, when God begins to speak and you cooperate with Him and you begin to hear what He’s saying, everything begins to change.

But change was slow, especially for Mrs. Anaba, who had already experienced so much loss in her life.

ROSEMOND: Why me?  Why should this happen?  Between my father and my mother, I am the only child, I lost my sister.  I had two siblings, one before me, one after me, both died.  I lost my mom some years back, just about six or seven years ago, and then this.  Lord, what’s happening?  And I kept asking, “Why me?  Why me?  Why me?”

Rosemund felt so much shame that she didn’t minister in church for an entire year.

ROSEMOND: I was like, what am I going to say to them?  The Word did not work for me.  I wanted to run away.  Because it was as if people were hooting at me, you know, “You say you believe God, you say you trust in God, you say God has given you such wonderful children, and what happened?”

Mrs. Anaba asked her husband to pray for her, and gradually the shame left and she began to speak again.  She also stopped asking God why.

ROSEMOND: I realized that if I kept asking “Why me?” I would never get an answer, because what right has the clay got to say to the potter, “What doest thou?”

Both Pastor Eastwood and Mrs. Anaba came to understand that sometimes in life bad things happen.

PASTOR EASTWOOD: I had to come face to face with the sovereignty of God, that no matter what faith you carry, how righteous you are, how much faith you put out there, your ability and the power to say the right things, there may be situations you can’t control.

Pastor Eastwood says through his own heartbreak, he has developed more love and compassion for people.

PASTOR EASTWOOD: I am able to receive people better.  I used to be just kind of blunt.  If you are wrong you are going to hell right there.  And if you did – if something wrong happened to you, it was because you did something wrong.  That is why evil happened to you.

ROSEMOND: Or you didn’t have enough faith.

PASTOR EASTWOOD: Or you didn’t have enough faith.   But then – and now I have to ask myself, “What did I do wrong to deserve this?”  It started changing my mind.

Though the Anabas are still grieving, with God’s help they are moving on with life and ministry.

ROSEMOND: But I want to say that God is faithful, and don’t give up.  Don’t give up on life at all.  It may be gradual.  Everybody’s rate of recovery is different.  But don’t waste the grace of God.  Don’t frustrate the grace of God.  Surrender to God.  Allow Him to work through your heart.  Cry when you have to cry, but in the crying, cry like a child of God.  Don’t cry like someone who has no hope.

PASTOR EASTWOOD: In the midst of the situation, have we fully recovered?  No.  We are still nursing our wounds.  With my left eye filled with tears, I try to see the glory of God with my other eye.  With one ear I listen to all the negative things people have to say.  With another ear, I listen to what God has to say.

Although the Anabas are continuing on, their believed Audrey and Amanda will forever remain in their hearts.

ROSEMOND:     And I was like, “God, so if you hadn’t come to die for me, it means I wouldn’t see these children again.  But because the work on the cross, now I know that one day I will see these children, and it has given me hope.”

This organization was started with a meeting of inspiring and empowering young people across the land and praying for Ghana and Africa as a whole, to take the future of Ghanaians into their own hands, and be able to bring a change within their communities.

Since I was young I always wanted to do something, and I felt like God is leading me to doing something.  But this whole concept about Youth for Christ Ghana started when I went to Egypt in 2009 and while we were in Egypt there was this youth conference that we attended.  The conference was organized by young people who have come together, about 6,000 young people.  Wow, and I said, “Wow, we can do something like this.”  So when I came back from Egypt, the idea was conceived in me and it took me another two years for it to come out.

Our first clean-up activity was held in June, 20th of June and the purpose of that clean-up activity was as a youth organization, who is interested in the wellbeing of the people within the community where we serve.  And so we thought that as a youth organization, we need to impact our communities through cleanliness.

What I keep seeing is that we keep hearing that young people are the future leaders, but I say they are the leaders of today.

God, as we worship Jesus Christ, came to the world to save sinners, and anyone who exercises faith in Christ has a new life, and so that life has a fruit that it must bear.  And one of the fruits that it must bear is to reach out to the community and make an impact.  And, for me, having a new life in Christ, I believe that I can contribute to my quota in a small way that I can, to change the life of many people.  I believe that God is the Supreme,  in everything that you do,  if God is in it, its going to make an impact.

And so I see Youth for Christ Ghana to be an organization that is going to champion the work of young people across Ghana and Africa.  But I feel very proud working with young people.  Yes, I know that there are a few challenges.  But, yes, I know we can do it.  The future is bright, so we can do it.  I feel very good working with them, because they bring their energy, they bring their innovations, and they bring all the skills, the ideas that I  need.  I’m very proud of working with them.

Like I’m saying, young people, if you are a young person looking now watching this, don’t look at yourself within your community.  You can do something that is more inspirational.  Sometimes you look at yourself and say I don’t have education, I don’t have  finances, I don’t have anything, but God created all of us equal. Okay?  He give everyone something.  And the thing that God has given you is to edify others, is to push others forward.  And so we need to get out of the comfort zone and start doing something.  And as you start doing something, someone, of course, with resources will be inspired by what you are doing, and they are going to push you forward to do it.

My name is Emmanuel Ametepey, and I am African.

DON PIPER: An honor, an honor, thank you.

ERICA: Now in 1989 you were in a fatal car accident.

DON PIPER: Correct.

ERICA: Because you actually died.  Can you tell me exactly what happened that day?

DON PIPER: Yeah, I was on my way to church.  People are usually startled by that, you know, that it happened that way.  So it just proves you can die at any moment, and you have to be ready every moment for the end of your life.

I left a conference, a Pastor’s conference, and I was on my way to church to lead a Bible study on a Wednesday night.  On a rural bridge in East Texas, an 18-wheeler crossed the center stripe, trying to avoid another car, and hit me head on, and I was killed instantly.  It was a four-vehicle pileup and four paramedics came.  Nobody else was hurt, thankfully, which meant they all four worked on me, four paramedics.  And in spite of their best efforts, I was killed instantly as a result of the collision.  So they all four pronounced me dead, covered me up with a tarp and they were waiting for a medical examiner to come and sign the paperwork so the body could be transported to a morgue.  So there I lay.

ERICA: And so you said you instantly died, but then you said you instantly went to Heaven.

DON PIPER: Last breath here, first breath there.

ERICA: And so what was that experience like when you got to Heaven?

DON PIPER: I was standing in front of my grandfather, and I had been with him when he died.  It was like God’s way of saying, “Now, you’ll know where you are, because you know where he is.”

ERICA: Umm.

DON PIPER: And, of course, I did.  And he looked really good.  If you want to look good, Heaven is where you want to be.

ERICA: (LAUGHS)

DON PIPER: He was quite old, and he was missing fingers, because he was a carpenter.

ERICA: Uh-huh.

DON PIPER: He had a lot of scars all over his body after 50 years of hard labor.  Not when I saw him in Heaven.  He reached his hands out to me and said, “Welcome home, Donnie.”  He’s the one who called me that.  And  he didn’t have any – his fingers were back.  I had never seen them before.  And everybody I saw at the gates of Heaven was spectacular in every way.  Even though some of them had been quite elderly when they died, or some had been young, and they didn’t look like they had an age at all about them.  I was greeted by people who helped me get to Heaven, and it was a spec – Heaven is a great reunion.

ERICA: And so, did you see Jesus?

DON PIPER: I saw Him at the pinnacle of a hill, inside the city gates.  There are 12 gates in Heaven, and fortunately I was at one of them.  And I could see him high and lifted up, as well He should be.  And there is a river flowing down the side of that hill, mountain, the river of life.  So He was as beautiful as you can imagine Him, but I didn’t get face to face with Him.  I just wanted to fall at His feet and say, “Thank you for letting me be here.”

ERICA: I know.

DON PIPER: But I didn’t get a chance to do that before I came back.

ERICA: And so did it seem dreamy or did it seem just as real as we’re sitting here now.

DON PIPER: It’s more real than this- because now life for me seems fleeting and temporal.  I know the death rate here on earth is 100%.  You know, we’re not going to make it out of this life.  So this life now, even though I know it’s real, and we are here, this doesn’t seem real to me any more.  It seems fleeting, temporary, I know that it will end in an instant.  And Heaven is now my reality.  This is not.  So that’s my reality.  I look forward to being there again, and this is something I’m experiencing.

ERICA: And you document your story in 90 Minutes In Heaven, which is very popular.

DON PIPER: Uh-huh, uh-huh.

ERICA: But now you have another book out called Getting to Heaven.

DON PIPER: Yes.

ERICA: What inspired you to write Getting to Heaven?

DON PIPER: Because we want to help people get there, and we want to help them have that meaningful life.  The subtitle of that book is, “Departing instructions for your life now.”  It’s very practical, very relevant, and really helps people know how do you treat other people while you’re here.

ERICA: Uh-huh.

DON PIPER: How do you relate to God while you’re here, what you need to do while you’re here.  Because Jesus gives us very specific instructions how to do that.  So that’s why it’s called “Departing instructions for your life now.”  I pray that it will have a dramatic impact on all those people who are saying, “I don’t know why I’m here.”

ERICA: Yes.

DON PIPER: Because I asked the same question when I came back after the wreck.  I came back for this – 34 operations?  I came back for this?  You took me away for this?

I understand better now why I’m here, and I think people can do that.  I think it’s not a mystery.  Jesus really wants us to know why we’re here, and how to have a meaningful life, until we’re not here any more.

ERICA: And then my last question, there are some people who are so caught up in this life and, like you say, Heaven is more real to you than this life.  But for a lot of us, this is what we know.  How can we have that reality of Heaven, not necessarily going that way that you went –

DON PIPER: Uh-huh.

ERICA: — but how can we get a sense of that this is life fleeting and that Heaven is our ultimate goal?

DON PIPER: That’s a great question.  Over in Revelation 21 it says that Heaven ought to be like us, like a bridegroom standing at the foot of an aisle watching his bride walk towards him.  Well, I’ve been a bridegroom before, I know what that’s like.  It’s so exciting to think, “Here she comes.  This is a gift from God.  God has given me this lifetime companion here.”

What if we lived life that way, like we were looking at a companion, a lifetime companion, and being very excited about your life together?  And that’s the way the Bible says we ought to think about Heaven.  You know what, we don’t think about Heaven that way.  We don’t think about Heaven until someone dies, and we’re confronted with our own mortality.  And we ought to think about Heaven a lot more than we do.  If we do, then we can live a better life here.

I know where I’m going, and so I don’t have to worry about that any more.  And I can live a meaningful life between now and then.  So, you can know where you’re going. Jesus said, “I am the way.”  And He also said, “I am the life.”  And that means we can have a meaningful life here.  He will be with us every step of the way until He takes us there.  So it’s just the perfect solution to the human problem.  Jesus here, Jesus there.  I can’t wait to go back.

DR. PEPRAH-GYAMFI: Excellent, yes.

HOLLY: And you have a very interesting perspective, I think, in terms of writing this book, being a Christian and also being a doctor.  What inspired you to write this book?

DR. PEPRAH-GYAMFI: In Dr. Jesus I used the healing miracles of the Lord Jesus to argue that there is a spiritual, a supernatural dimension of our existence, something which evolution or atheism cannot explain.

HOLLY: And so what would that actually be?  What would you say overall that that would be?

DR. PEPRAH-GYAMFI:             A medical doctor, when we are confronted with disease, you use surgical instruments  to cure disease.  But in the case of Dr. Jesus, he just spoke the word, and healing was manifested.  It’s something that medical science cannot explain.  And that is evidence that there is something behind the physical, and that there is a spiritual dimension and there is a power called Almighty God.

HOLLY: Amen to that.

DR. PEPRAH-GYAMFI:             Amen.

HOLLY: In your book you say that Jesus doesn’t just mend things, but He does something different when He heals.  How does He heal?

DR. PEPRAH-GYAMFI:             Yeah, Dr. Jesus creates, because He is the  Creator of the universe.  He is the Creator of our organs.  And, for example, when a doctor is confronted with a woman who has a fibroid and say, a growth on the womb.  And the anestheologist who puts the patient to sleep and the doctor uses scalpel or instruments to open the body, and then remove the growth.  But Dr. Jesus speaks the word, and the growth is removed and new womb is created to replace the old.  That is what I believe.

HOLLY: A whole new –

DR. PEPRAH-GYAMFI:             A whole new organ replaces the old one.  Where if  you are suffering a kidney failure, Dr. Jesus does not mend your diseased kidney.  As far as I am concerned, He creates a new organ to replace the old.

HOLLY: Wow.  Let me ask you a different question, a little bit off that subject.  A lot of people think, because we are talking about what the medical doctors would do versus how Jesus heals.  Some people say, “I won’t go to a medical doctor, I’m going to pray.”  Or some people rely just on the medical doctors.  Some people say you can’t believe in science and have faith at the same time.  What is your perspective, being a Christian and also being a doctor, what is your perspective on that?

DR. PEPRAH-GYAMFI:             I believe that science as such, it’s called God’s science because science deals with the matter or the particles created by God.  In my book I say that if you are not feeling well, you have to see the doctor still, I recommend that you go ahead and see the doctor.  But you have to combine that with your prayer.  We live in a state in an era where people give science credit for everything. People have so much faith in medicine, who have so much great confidence in their doctor.  They invest every confidence.  And there was a case of a friend who lived in Germany, a friend of them was hospitalized.  So they went to visit the patient and  to pray for the patient.  And the patient [said], “No, no, no, no, no, I don’t need your prayer.  I believe in the doctors.  Uh, the doctors have studied and they know everything they are doing.  I have the confidence in them.”  Yeah, of course, we can have the confidence, but medical science has its boundaries, and it comes to a point that medical science has nowhere to go.  Like, I just want to cite a situation in my own family.  One of my children has a condition of autism.

HOLLY: Uh-huh.

DR. PEPRAH-GYAMFI:             And a condition of autism, and he looks physically normal if you see him on the street.  But he is not developed like a normal child of his age.  In medical science, we have been giving him tablets to take, but it has come to a point when we cannot move any further.  It is that situation that I believe the Lord Jesus comes in.  So we are praying at the moment for healing for him.  And I can see, I can even  testify that though he is not 100% healed, we have noticed significant improvement.  Because when he was about three or four years old, he was hyperactive, just moving all over the place and destroying all the wallpaper, the glasses.  And there was a time when he jumped through the window, and he was hanging on the window, so our neighbors made a phone call, just to alert us.  And by the grace of God, he didn’t spring, but he was about to spring out.  And, but now he has calmed down significantly over the last two or three years.  So we believe in prayer to heal him.

HOLLY: Prayer is very important.

DR. PEPRAH-GYAMFI: Yes.

HOLLY: — in the process of healing. What would you say to someone today who— they need a healing.  They are praying, they are believing, whatever they are doing, they may not be praying, but  they want to be healed, or they know someone who needs to be healed.  What would be your advice to them today?

DR. PEPRAH-GYAMFI:            My advice is, seek medical help, but at the same time, combine that with prayer.  The healing is not for the doctor, he will just fix it.  The healing comes from God.  That is what I believe.  So doctors –  God uses doctors.  So we can go and see them when we are not feeling well.  But you have to combine that with prayer.

DR. ROBIN OATIS-BALLEW : Thank you for having me.

MUYIWA:            I have to ask you, how big is the problem of infertility and the impact it has on people psychologically?

DR. ROBIN OATIS-BALLEW :  I think it’s a fairly huge issue when people experience it, and part of what makes it so large is that often times people don’t realize they’re struggling with infertility. Lots of couples spend many years and months avoiding becoming pregnant and think that they won’t have any problem, and so when they do start to try to conceive, and they’re unable to or they’re unable to remain pregnant, then it can be a huge blow.

MUYIWA: Now, what sort of impact can that have on relationships, or what impact have you seen it have on relationships with some of your patients?

DR. ROBIN OATIS-BALLEW: I think there are four things that can happen that center around anger, guilt, frustration, and feeling incompetent and inadequate.

First, I think there can be a lot of anger about “why not me?” Couples can look around and they can say, “Well, I know these people who  were able to get pregnant and have beautiful children and they didn’t have a problem. Why do I have a problem?” “I know these people who have an unwanted pregnancy or an unplanned pregnancy, and they didn’t have a problem. Why am I having a problem?” And so they can look around and say, “Why am I having to deal with this?” and become very angry about it.

There can also be guilt,  guilt that for a woman that she’s not able to give her partner a child, guilt for the man that he’s not able to get his wife pregnant. There can also be frustration about the financial cost that can go with infertility, the emotional cost that can go with it. And it also comes down to many times, unfortunately, just feelings of inadequacy, where people start to question: Am I masculine still? Am I feminine? Am a man or a woman if I cannot have a child or carry a child to term?

MUYIWA: Now, that said, I mean, there are people who are watching now, someone who’s watching who’s going through it –

DR. ROBIN OATIS-BALLEW Uh-huh.

MUYIWA: — how do you start back towards recovery, if I could use that word, if right now, I mean, “It’s okay, you’re a psychologist, you know, and you look wonderful, and you’re sitting here talking about these things, but I’m the one feeling the pain of rejection from someone else, feeling the guilt if I can’t have a baby, where do I start from?”

DR. ROBIN OATIS-BALLEW :  I think the best place to start is to get support. The natural tendency sometimes when people feel embarrassed about something or frustrated or ashamed that they’re not able to become pregnant or remain pregnant is to isolate and to separate themselves off from people, but this is a time when you really need to be around people who know you and love you and who can support you.

So the first thing that I highly recommend is to get support. And part of that is understanding that lots of people have dealt with this in many different ways, but it’s something that we don’t really talk about. In some ways there’s a layer of shame and embarrassment about it, but it’s something that many people have experienced. Many people have experienced miscarriages or problems conceiving and things like that, so I think it’s important to start to identify a trusted friend or a family member that you might want to talk to, a psychologist or a trusted religious or spiritual leader, someone who you can tell your story to and who may be in a position to help normalize it for you and to say, “You’re not the only person that this has happened to. There are people out there and, you know, here are some things that you can do.”

MUYIWA: Now, for someone who’s feeling so besieged by it all and thinks everyone around them is against them, how can you begin to find a community of people that could possibly help, because if your head space is so filled with anger and you think, “Well, everyone thinks I’m no good, where do I look for someone that I can relate to?”

DR. ROBIN OATIS-BALLEW :  Actually, for people with internet access and access to a computer, you can actually google “What is infertility?” and go to a number of websites that talk about it. And some of those websites have online support groups, so that can be a little less intimidating for people who don’t want to disclose it to someone they know, but they still want to feel as if they’re part of a community of support and people who understand what they’re going through.

MUYIWA: It would be great if you can stay with us because I’d like to ask you some more questions on this subject.

DR. ROBIN OATIS-BALLEW :   Okay, absolutely.

DR. ROBIN OATIS-BALLEW :  I think it’s very difficult  worldwide for women to get past it in the west and in some African nations because so much weight is placed upon a woman’s identity as a mother and her ability to carry a pregnancy, and to parent well.

But when we look at the totality of a person’s life, there are many different ways to parent, there are many different ways to nurture, and so what I would encourage people to do is to think about that energy that goes into parenting and if you can’t apply it towards your own biological child, that doesn’t mean that it’s a total waste and that it’s a loss for you, but think about how you can be effective in your own community.

And we know that women do move the world. We know that women, whether or not they have their own biological children, have been positive forces in many people’s lives, and so to continue that part of identity, I think can be very key for women struggling with infertility.

MUYIWA: So, here I am, I’m a single woman, well, not me of course –

DR. ROBIN OATIS-BALLEW:  Right. (LAUGHS)

MUYIWA: — it’s difficult for me to be a typical woman, but a single woman watching  getting on in years, as far as she’s concerned, feeling “my biological clock is ticking,” and of course, that must have some impact on her head space –

DR. ROBIN OATIS-BALLEW:    Uh-huh.

MUYIWA: Again a question of how you cope with that as a single person, because you’re looking and thinking, “Well everyone has a child,  but my insides are going to tie up soon, I won’t be able to have a child.” How can you cope in your a single person with this pressure that you feel, not only from yourself but also from outside?

DR. ROBIN OATIS-BALLEW:  It is a lot of pressure and I think that there are a few things you can do if you want to have a child or if you think you may want to have a child down the line and if you don’t.

If you want to have a child, I think it’s important to start making lifestyle changes that will help you be fertile in the future. So if you drink or smoke, to cut back on those things. Also, if you think you may want to have a child, to start to think about, “How can I  move my life in that direction?”

But if you’re not ready to do that yet and you want to do something else like focus on your community through career work or focus on educating yourself, do those things. That’s okay, but also the reality of it is, is that your parents may be pressuring you to have a child. Your partner could be pressuring you to have a child. So I think it’s important to start soon, kind of prepping those people that “this may not happen and this doesn’t mean that I’m a total failure,” but also recognizing that for yourself.

And seeking out a community of like-minded people. Because again, when there’s so much pressure to do anything in life, if you feel like you’re not going to do it or you’re failing at it, there is that tendency to isolate and to feel like a failure and you want to really get support from your peers and not, sort of, live in the closet with that sense of shame and secrecy around you.

MUYIWA: Is there a point where a couple say to themselves, mentally and spiritually in their heart that, actually  this can’t happen and that’s it, we won’t have any children?

DR. ROBIN OATIS-BALLEW: I think there’s a point that that does happen for people and they’re able to accept it. Oftentimes they’re able to accept it because they’ve been able to support one another, they’re able to accept it because they lean on religious and spiritual faith and that helps as well, and they’re also able to accept it because they have other things going on in their life  and parenthood does not define who they are. It could add to who they are and enhance it, but it’s not the core aspect of their identity, so I think that those things have been really helpful.

But for people who are struggling with infertility and really do want to become parents, there are other options available. There are options like adoption. There are other things that you can do like considering a surrogacy, you can consider  in vitro fertilization and things like that. So there are other things that people can do to help them along the path of fertility as well.

MUYIWA: Doctor, thank you so much for joining us and giving us some vital information, so grateful for your time.

DR. ROBIN OATIS-BALLEW:  Okay, thank you for having me.

SIMEON WRIGHT: Well, we lived under the Jim Crow System. There was no protection under the law.  We had no protection, therefore if a white man wanted to mistreat us, kill us, nothing would be done.

We couldn’t vote.  And we couldn’t get a adequate education. And the purpose of not getting a good education was to keep us in the cotton fields.

In August 1955 Simeon’s cousin comes to visit from Chicago. His name is Emmett.

SIMEON:  Somebody from Chicago coming down to Mississippi to visit was, just was joy, pure joy to us.  And we just couldn’t wait for him to get there because it was so different, the clothes they had, the way they talked, and we all had the desire to leave Mississippi and go to Chicago.

Unfortunately, Emmett didn’t understand where he was visiting.

SIMEON:   He felt that white boy, black boy, the same thing to him, no difference.  That’s the way he was raised.  And he had no idea what Jim Crow was about or he had no idea how low down those segregationists was.

It was August 24, 1955.

SIMEON: Well, that day we had picked cotton all day.  Of course, Emmett had picked cotton one day, but he stayed home all day this day and he wanted to go somewhere, wanted to go to Money.  So we all piled in the car, my brother Maurice driving,  about 5 of us and we drove up to Money. Three miles to the west of us, Maurice parked the car and we all got out and went over to the store.

And immediately Wheeler went inside of the store to buy something.  And then Emmett went in behind him.

Well, Wheeler came out of the store, after he had paid for his items.  And Maurice did not want Emmett in there alone, so he sent me in to make sure that he didn’t say anything wrong.

Well, I got in the store and he didn’t say anything. He paid for his items and we both left at the same time.  When we got outside of the store, Carolyn Bryant came out behind us and as she was walking north towards her car, Emmett whistled at her.  And it scared us half to death, and we just couldn’t get out of town fast enough ‘cause we didn’t know what to think and he saw our reaction and it scared him.

Four days later in the middle of the night there was a knock at the door.

SIMEON: Well, when my Daddy opened the door, the man standing there with a .45 and a flashlight in his hand.  And he asked my Dad about the boy from Chicago that did all that talk in Money at Wednesday night.  So my Dad still don’t know what’s going on, so he began to lead them through the bedroom, looking for the boy from Chicago.

So they’re waking my nephew Wheeler, he’s from Chicago also, he said, “This is the wrong boy.  We’re looking for the fat boy from Chicago.”  And then they marched through the spare room, what we call the spare bedroom, then they got to my bedroom.  And I heard the noise before they got there, so I opened my eyes, I saw these two white men standing at the foot of the bed.

Roy Bryant, I recognized him, but I didn’t know J.W. Milam.  J.W. Milam had the flashlight and a .45 in his hand.  He ordered me to lay back down and go back to sleep and made Emmett get up and put his clothes on.  First he asked him the question, was he the boy that did that talking in Money, to his sister-in-law and Emmett said, “Yeah.” And he threatened to whip him there because he said, “Yeah.”  He was expecting him to say, “Yes, Sir.”  And they made Emmett dress and they marched him out of the room.  And as he left, he didn’t say one word.

The mood was — is something like grief and fear that you could cut.  All my dad could do was walk through the house saying, “Hmm, mm, mm.”  And my mother, she would be half talking, half crying.  She ran over to the white neighbors; trying to get them to intervene and they wouldn’t help.

Three days later Emmett’s body was found in the river attached to a 70 lb. cotton gin fan.

MAN FROM FILM:   His body was so badly damaged that we couldn’t just tell who he was. But he happened to have on a ring with his initials and that cleared it up.

Emmett’s mother, Mamie Till Moseley, had an open casket funeral – which drew national attention.

SIMEON:  You really can’t describe all of the-the emotion that was going through your mind, your heart and things you were feeling.  The grief, the anger, the shock, the -just sorrow that you could cut with a knife, and the unbelief that things like this could happen.

J. W. Milam and Roy Bryant were arrested and tried for Emmett’s murder.  Despite overwhelming evidence they were found not guilty by an all white jury.

SIMEON:  I was angry, I wanted revenge.  Acouple of times I took it out on people that wasn’t even involved, that I finally realized, that these kids did nothing to me.  And so, Roy Bryant and J.W. Milam, they did the damage.  They were the murderers.  They are the ones that got away with it.

For years, Simeon struggled with anger until one night he heard a voice.

SIMEON:            I was sitting in a tavern one night, having fun, drinking the beer or whatnot, feeling half high, and I heard this voice, it said, “If you die in your sins, you’re going to hell.”  And a couple weeks after that, I committed my life to Christ and the anger began to leave.

Simeon realized he had to forgive the men who killed his cousin.

SIMEON: It’s not easy. Don’t ever let anybody tell you it’s easy to forgive.  It’s a struggle.  But once you do, the weights lift and you don’t have to wake up every morning with these people on your mind or thinking about them, ‘cause it’s over.

Simeon wrote a book chronicling the tragic death of Emmett Till.  He travels to schools all over the U.S. sharing his story.

SIMEON:   Some of the high schools I go to, some of the kids, I can see they’ve been abused or whatnot, I said, “A Potter, He made me over again.”  That’s how I was able to get through.  God Almighty made me over again.

INGREDIENTS-

-       2lb Spinach [Fresh or Frozen]

-       1 Cup Ground Crayfish

-       1lb Tripe (cubed)

-       1 ½ lb Beef (cubed)

-       2lb Fresh Fillet Tilapia

-       2lb Large Shrimp (peeled and de-veined)

-       4 Fresh Tomatoes

-       6 Red Peppers

-       1 Big Onion

-       1 Blended Habanero Chili (optional)

-       1 ½ Cooking Spoon Canola Oil (Palm Oil optional)

-       Salt, Thyme, Garlic Powder and Chicken Bullion

-       5 Cups of Water

-       Diced Red Peppers, Onions and Tomatoes for garnishing

DIRECTIONS-

• Season beef and tripe with garlic, salt and thyme in a pot and let cook on medium-high heat for 20 min or until tender.
• Sautee shrimp and tilapia in a skillet for 4 min over medium heat. Then add diced peppers, tomatoes and onions for another minute.
• Pour blended tomatoes, red peppers and onions over cooked beef. Add salt and oil and let simmer over medium heat for 10 min. Then add the shrimp and fish combination with the ground crayfish and fresh or thawed spinach.
• Stir and let cook over lower heat for 8 min. Once done, let simmer for 3 min and serve with cooked rice.

MUYIWA: Reverend, welcome.

TINASHE MUNYARADZI: Thank you.

MUYIWA: Thank you so much for joining us.  We are talking all things men today.  Let me ask, your book is The Ultimate Challenge for Men, it says.

TINASHE MUNYARADZI: That is correct.

MUYIWA: What’s that challenge?

TINASHE MUNYARADZI: The challenge to rise up and be who God has designed and ordained them to be.  That is to take responsibility of being the foundation of our community, our families, and society in general.

MUYIWA: Now, in this day and age of equal responsibilities, and you know, equal share of everything and equal share of the bills when you go out and eat,  isn’t that harking back a bit to the past?

TINASHE MUNYARADZI: Well, it is, but it’s a good past that we are going back to, because Jesus giving a response to some men who challenged Him, He says, “In the beginning it was not so.”  So I think what we are discussing in this show as well as in the book is taking us back to that beginning which is where God really wanted us to be and where He wants all of us to be as we go forward.

MUYIWA: Now, you have an interesting thought that follows right through the book, this idea of yourself by looking at the women around you.

TINASHE MUNYARADZI: Correct.

MUYIWA: Tell us about that.  How does that work?

Because, you know, some people might think, no, I don’t look like that woman that’s in the bed next to me.

TINASHE MUNYARADZI: Well, the teaching of the Word of the Lord is that the woman is the glory of man. And most men don’t want to accept that, but what happens is that when God brings a woman into a man’s life, she is coming in as raw material.  She is coming in as somebody who can be molded for good or for evil.  And you see what happens is every man, when they are trying to get a woman, they build her up, they speak all things positive, and they build her ego, and she is a great woman at that point simply because she is responding to what the man is saying to her.  And once they get her, once they marry the woman, they stop doing that.  And then she starts to react to that.  And she becomes a totally different woman in the eyes of the man, and men are surprised and they don’t understand why they change, but it’s simply because they stopped doing what they used to do, which is to build her up and to let her know that she is a great person.

MUYIWA: Now, of course, the time we have is so short we can’t explore everything in the book, but your personal journey that led to the book, tell us about it briefly.

TINASHE MUNYARADZI: Got married in 1994, had been a Christian for many years, I thought I knew everything there was to know about being a good husband.

MUYIWA: Now you’d been a Christian from say the age of 9 years old.

TINASHE MUNYARADZI: That is correct.

MUYIWA: And been ministering –

TINASHE MUNYARADZI: Been ministering since the age of 16.

MUYIWA: Okay, so you were pretty familiar with what was –

TINASHE MUNYARADZI: At least that’s what I thought.   And that’s what it looked like to me.  But being in marriage, and having book knowledge or having talked to somebody else is not the same.  And the thing is that principle of realizing that my primary assignment was to build up my wife, I had never really understood that.  So it was not until after almost 15 years of marriage that God challenged me as far as it relates to how I related with my wife, how I worked with her in ministry, and the challenge was so intense that it changed the way I look at everything now and it’s changed my understanding of relationships and from the time I was courageous enough to take the challenge and to study the Word of God afresh and to look at the principles that are in the Word of God, I have since – my life changed, I saw my wife transformed totally.

MUYIWA: Let me ask you.  We have only about 30 seconds left.  When you got to that spot where you looked at your wife, what did you see that was you and what does your wife look like now?

TINASHE MUNYARADZI: Well, now she looks like the me that I would like to see.  But back then it was a different story, simply because I was not doing what I was supposed to do as a husband, I was –

MUYIWA: What did you see?

TINASHE MUNYARADZI: Well, I saw somebody who was complaining, somebody who doesn’t appreciate who I am, somebody who doesn’t fully grasp  the assignment that I have as a pastor.